Friday, August 17, 2012

My Awkward Life pt.1

(Fake names used throughout)

My early experiences with girls were quite tumultuous.  My very first friends were girls.  

It was day one of kindergarten.  I remember when I walked into the classroom a swarm of eyes turned to stare at me in synchronized motion.  At first I was apprehensive, but in retrospect, making friends at that age was easier than taking a poop.

By the time I knew it, I was playing Barbie and house with all the girls.  I have to admit that I did play with Barbies before I ever got into G.I. Joe.  I used to take naked Ken and naked Barbie and they would take lots of baths together.  Somehow things were a lot more interesting when they didn't have any pants.  The girls played with these dolls in a totally different fashion at the playground.  Why do they have to do normal things?  Why can't they just be naked all the time and have naked bath parties?  This is boring.  

In First grade, a girl with chestnut brown hair and a tanned complexion ran up to me on the playground.

"Do you like me?"


I had no idea what Kelly was talking about.  I was six years old and liked all my classmates.  Her face beamed as she ran back into the bushes to play with the other girls.  

Moments later another girl asked me if I liked Jane.  I naturally said yes.  Confusion between my friends started to surface.  They returned after their short meeting for more questioning.

"Wait you said you liked me?"

"Didn't you say you liked Jane?"

Too many questions.  Two to be exact.  My mind was a blank cloud of discombobulation. What was going on?  Can't we just play naked Barbie?



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